I’ve been hanging out at the mall lately. Everyday this week, that is where I have spent my lunch hour. I’m loving the free wi-fi at the Barnes & Noble and that I can just grab some lunch at the food court – so many choices. This reminds me of my teenage years when hanging out at the mall was one of my favorite things to do. Different mall, different friend, different city but still the mall.
It all makes me feel rather sentimental. I’ve been thinking a lot this past month about how we travel through the various stages in life and how when you are younger you feel like your challenges are something no one else understands and how some things you’ll never get through and then as each decade passes, how life really gets better. Sure, we have challenges and issues and tragic things that happen and once again you think you’ll never get beyond it but somehow you do and then life gets just that much better. All of the work, the struggles, the tears you just keep pushing through. The happy moments fill in between and somehow keep you going. Pretty soon you realize that there are more happy moments than sad ones and that indeed, life is good. The work, the challenges, the issues don’t seem to be the biggest and worst things any more.
I have heard all of my life that for women it just gets better after 40, maybe I’ve been programmed to believe this and that is why I feel this way or maybe it is true. I am going to be 45 in a few months and I can tell you - Life is good. I’ve been through many things that I thought would define me in a negative way for the rest of my life, that I would carry the anger and pain until the day I die. I know now that isn’t true, for all of those people who tell each other “time mends” – you are right. Sure, I still have memories that cause sadness, pain, anger. I still have fear that things won’t always be this good. Tragedy will happen at some point. I also feel that this good time gives me strength, allows me to become stronger than I was before. I hope the strength will prepare me to handle the challenges and issues that are just around that next corner. I really hope that this stage lasts for awhile, I’m really starting to enjoy it.
I’m looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend ahead of me. That big news that I’ve been hinting about is almost ready to be shared. After this weekend I can share what I’ve had to keep such a secret. I am really bad at keeping secrets. Now that this top secret project is almost finished and once it is shared another project is on the horizon. I don’t think that one is going to be such a big secret and I’m hoping I can blog about it along the way because I think there will be much to talk about. I just can’t start talking about that yet. The deal isn’t sealed yet.
